It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.

Everybody lies.

Lies of omission, half-truths, fabrications, exaggerations, deceptions, excuses, white lies, broken promises, black bold-faced lies, or just saying nothing at all.

Lies are easy on social media and by telephone ~ it’s harder to look a person in the eye and tell a black bold-faced lie.  Only sociopaths and very practiced deceivers can do that with real conviction.  There are plenty of practiced deceivers around.

Hardly anybody trusts anyone anymore.  Hardly anyone is committed to truth.

Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.  ~  Albert Einstein.

Mostly I expect people to lie to me, and mostly I don’t care.  I have been lied to far too many times to care very much anymore.  The cold-hearted people who have lied to me have diminished themselves more than they have hurt me.  Now, with few exceptions I do not allow anyone close enough to me for their lies to matter.

Because of all those lies, I do not trust easily anymore.  A broken trust is as cold as the sea in winter.

Life is lonely and bitter without trust.  Everyone has to trust the one they care for, and when that trust is broken the taste is bitter and hearts grow cold.

Most good relationships are built on mutual trust and respect.  ~  Mona Sutphen

A couple of days ago I told a very close friend, my best friend, that I knew she had lied to me.  She did not deny the fact ~ how could she?  Everybody lies.

What does it matter that she did not deny that she has lied to me?

More importantly, why did I say that I knew she had lied to me?  That achieves nothing good in a relationship.

I’m afraid it’s a hangover from my suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, where I sabotaged and destroyed every relationship and friendship I’ve ever had.  Telling someone you care for that you know she has lied to you goes a fair way towards destroying a relationship.

I need to do much, much better than that.  My friend deserves much much better than that from me.  I deserve much better for myself than that kind of stupid comment.  It shows no mindfulness whatsoever.

I’m afraid that, because of the inclement weather, I am spending far too much time alone brooding in the garret.  It isn’t good for me, and I know I need to walk near the sea and meditate.  I know need to accept people as they are, and not expect them to be the way I wish them to be.  I need to accept that sometimes there is a good reason that people have lied to me.

The world is as it is, and not as I would wish it to be.  But, perhaps with a lot of effort I can turn this situation around and get past my paranoia.

Magic happens.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net