Who Do You Want To Be Tomorrow?
my wish is to wake up a better person than when I went to bed
We always want what we think we can’t have ~ that’s just human nature. It’s striving to get what we think we can’t have, to dream the impossible dream, to find new experiences and new loves that makes men and women do things like climb Mt. Everest, invent the wheel, put a man on the moon, and besiege Troy for the love of Helen. And every time ordinary people said they were crazy.
If we become a better person we are not only able to take better care of ourselves, we can also take better care of others, especially the people we have feelings for, especially the one we love the most of all.
When you take care of yourself, you’re a better person for others. When you feel good about yourself, you treat others better. ~ Solange Knowles.
Ergo, the first thing you should want to become is a superior version of yourself. Look after yourself, get healthier, fitter, stronger in body, mind, and spirit ~ get control of your emotions, get out in the fresh air and sunshine, get some exercise, read some good books, listen to some uplifting talks on YouTube….. Not only that, take a good hard look at yourself and be brutally honest; are you looking as good as you could? Hair, manicure, clothes, shoes, is your skin as healthy and glowing as it could be, do you smell nice?
What about your finances? Have you got spare cash at the end of the month, or are you continually broke? Are you in a dead-end job that pays peanuts? Do you actually manage your money, balance your cheque book?
And how are your relationships? Are you still madly in love with your partner, or are you in a dysfunctional relationship? Do you like to see your family regularly, or, like me are you totally estranged? Have your friends all turned to strangers?
You know you need to make some changes and rearrange your whole life, and deep down you really know what it is you need to do ~ so do it. You have had enough lessons from life ~ so use them and unfuck your life. You’d think you’d have made some changes by now, so dump the apathy, and be who who really want to be.
And if you don’t know who you want to be, then find yourself your ideal role model, and become them. It does not even have to be a real person; you may want to be India Jones, James Bond, Achilles, Holly Golightly, Ellen Ripley, or Aphrodite ~ don’t just sit there, do something about it ~ act as if you were that person. You will never become your role model, but along the way you will become a superior version of yourself.
Some say that there are going to be some changes around here ~ tomorrow. And that they are just running around in crazy circles like a rat on a wheel. All I know is I hope we find our way someday soon.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
don’t all men just love that kind of discourse with a woman they care about?
Building Self-Confidence
If you believe in yourself and feel confident in yourself, you can do just about anything.
acting utterly self-confident
Self-confidence is all about being comfortable and happy with who you are ~ trusting in one’s own abilities, qualities, and judgement. It’s about being OK with what you are doing and where you are heading. It’s not about going into a room full of people and wondering if they will like you, its about going into a room full of people and wondering if you like them. True self-confidence is about being completely at peace with yourself.
I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder, (BPD), which is a clinical condition, and this means I do not know who I am, people scare me for no good reason, and my emotions are all over the place, all the damn time. It’s very difficult to have true and profound self-confidence when you also suffer from a morbid fear of abandonment. Borderline Personality disorder is considered the most unstable and deadly of all mental health conditions ~ the death rate from suicide alone among sufferers from BPD is around 10%.
My confidence can be destroyed by minor setbacks, when people criticise me or put me down, or when my personality disorder creates anger, paranoia, jealousy, fear, and a complete inability to sustain a relationship.
Beware of those around you who subtly sow the seeds of doubt. ~ Wayne G. Trotman
Back in the day, when I was in International Banking, I needed to appear to be totally self-confident ~ and I developed a set of coping mechanisms, techniques, and tricks that allowed me to give the appearance of inner certainty, complete belief in myself, and that I was totally at ease. Basically I was faking it.
However, nobody is perfect. Nobody has all the answers. The odd thing is that, because I know exactly what my faults are I can deal with my imperfections. And, I am so fucking damn smart I know almost all the answers to all the questions. I should be filled with self-confidence, and I’m not.
So what do I do? I fake self-confidence ~ and when I fake self-confidence well enough, then I come to feel confident and empowered. Most people have no idea that I’m putting on an act. By appearing confident other people are happy to know me, to work with me, to rely upon me, to date me, and to be with me. As they say in 12-step recovery programs; fake it to make it.
Some say that we don’t know who we are because we don’t believe in ourselves. And that being a control freak is a weakness, not a strength. All I know is that true confidence comes from inner peace.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
looking good builds self-confidence
and uses up a lot of time in the gym
Eyes Wide Closed
all journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware
It has often struck me that a lot of people go through life blissfully unaware of the mysteries, adventures, and excitement going on all around them. Most people seem to live the same day, the same week, the same month, over and over again. They get up at more or less the same time every weekday, spend too long over exactly the same morning routine, travel the same way to work, and arrive late all the time. They lunch with the same people at the same places, leave work at the same time every evening, and do the same things between work and home that they did on the same day last week. And, their actual working day is most likely stultifyingly tedious. They even take vacations and attend conferences and retreats with the same people they did last year.
That isn’t living, that’s barely existing. What’s worse is that these bored and boring people will get sick a lot, suffer from mental illnesses like depression, and die before their allotted time.
Some people attempt to break away from the mind-numbing drudgery of their pointless lives through booze, drugs, gambling, petty crime, or casual sex. Personally, I tried a couple of those self-destructive diversions ~ before I knew better and began to concentrate on becoming a real man, a superior man to that which I was before.
The better person, the superior man, needs to be self-aware, self-controlled, self-disciplined, and self-confident. In addition, to fulfill our true potential, we need to become aware of just what is going on around us. We need to open our eyes and take notice of the world. Especially we need to understand what’s going on with the people we meet. If you are genuinely interested in someone they are far more likely to be friendly to you, and perhaps become your friend, than if you hardly give them a second glance.
I have no sympathy for guys who bemoan the fact that they can’t seem to meet girls, inevitably it’s for two reasons. #1 they walk around with their eyes wide closed, taking no interest at all in the female of the species, except to ogle them. #2 they never look at themselves critically in a mirror, taking no interest in themselves.
A real man, the better man, knows exactly what’s going on around him; from how every woman and more interesting guy he knows is feeling today, to what’s important in the news, to the impact and impression he is creating with everyone he meets. A better man always has his eyes and ears open.
Being self-aware, being aware of the people around you, knowing just what is going on in your world, is an important step on the road to self-confidence. With self-confidence comes the ability to change your life from the grey drudgery you currently inhabit, to the bright, sunlit uplands of excitement, adventure, and really cool things.
Some say that it’s better to travel hopefully than to arrive. And that it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. All I know is that seeing things change for the better is awesome.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
some women have very nice eyes, both wide open and closed wide shut
Reinvent Yourself
It’s never to late to be what you might have been.
~
Most people would like to change some things about themselves. They may want to be fitter, to lose weight, to be more successful at work, to be more successful with the opposite sex, or maybe just to lose the terrible feeling of dissatisfaction they constantly suffer from. Or it might be worse, some people want to lose their Borderline Personality Disorder, or paranoia or schizophrenia…..
One thing is certain, we can never get what we want by trying to change other people, nor by attempting to alter the way the world works. The only thing we can ever change is ourselves. But, look at the upside, when we change ourselves the whole world and everyone in it changes around us.
Reinventing ourselves into a better looking, cooler, fitter, more effective, more successful, less disturbed person is an essential process if we want to grow and flourish.
Here’s the hard thing. To reinvent yourself into the person you really want to be requires some hard choices. You need to be ready to walk away from aspects of your life in which you may have invested much time, effort, and money; the way you look, the personality you project, your existing career, unsuitable friendships, toxic relationships with the opposite sex, a dead-end marriage, the pub where you get drunk and try to get casual sex with anyone you may meet at the bar…..
Worse than that, you may have to forget and hide some of your past; the alcoholism, drug taking, criminal record, gambling, over-eating, casual sex, heavy smoking…..
Invent yourself and then reinvent yourself….. and reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you. ~ Charles Bukowski.
To reinvent yourself and have a truly successful life, ask yourself these questions;
- What should I stop doing and thinking?
- What should I start doing, thinking, and being?
- What could and should I do less of?
- What could and should I do more of?
- What could I do, think, and be differently from who I used to be.
Reinventing yourself can be a difficult and lonely path, and it is not a one-shot deal. Truly reinventing yourself is an on-going process you will have to work at, every single day.
Some say they already have everything their heart desires. And there is nothing really wrong with them that a few days sober and clean wouldn’t put right. All I know is that denial is the greatest block to becoming a better person.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
Somebody here is going to get into trouble
or maybe they both will.
Become a Renaissance Being
The heart and soul of a Renaissance Man is creativity.
Creativity, curiosity, honesty, openness, kindness, understanding ~ these things and honour are what separates a truly superior Renaissance Man from the common herd. There are a couple of other important attributes a superior man should possess in abundance; confidence and self-control ~ a Renaissance Man does not want, desire, nor need instant gratification to bolster his self-confidence. The confidence of a Renaissance Man is assured and will brook no criticisms.
part-finished teardrop trailer kit
A superior man is creative and innovative, and creativity means to actually create something, if there is no physical end-product then all you are doing is daydreaming. Almost everyone can daydream and come up with an idea or two, but few will go on to get those ideas down on paper, make a plan, and go on to create / build / make whatever it is the plan calls for, be it writing a book, creating a work of art, a boat, car, a tiny trailer, a kitchen, bathroom, or even a whole home. Almost everyone goes no further than having an idea, they never follow through and do something tangible. They are held back by a lack of confidence in themselves, laziness, fear, and the pressures of coping with a partner, family, friends, and coworkers. These are excuses, not reasons.
Other reasons for not actually doing something real, for going no further than daydreaming, are; lack of money, time pressures, lack of space, not knowing how to do whatever it is they think they want to do….. All of these are also just fucking pathetic excuses. And then there are some other reasons people don’t do creative stuff; they drink too much, smoke too much, smoke pot, do street drugs, take too many unnecessary prescription and over-the-counter medications, gamble, spend too much time looking for cheap sex in bars……
Perhaps to be truly creative you first have to put your life in order. It’s a fallacy that booze and drugs will help your creativity ~ all those things will do is help you daydream, right up to the point where you pass out.
Creative living and creativity is available to all of us But how do we energise our creative abilities?
- Do something, even if it’s just baby steps. Make a start on your project, even if it’s just writing down your ideas. Get out of your comfort zone. Pick up whatever tools you need to work on your project, from a hammer, to a brush, to a tablet.
- Mindfullness. Be aware of ourselves, be aware of our environment, be in the moment.
- Fresh air, exercise, sunshine, movement in nature. Get off your ass and take some physical activity to energise your body. Most office workers do not move nearly enough during the day, and then they go home, sit on the sofa, and drink some booze in front of the TV.
- Stop taking yourself too seriously. Reawaken the inner child. Be prepared to make mistakes. Be playful.
Some say that serious people don’t have time to waste on being creative. And, that being mindful is just a ‘new-age’ gimmick. All I know is that a really cool Renaissance Man creates his own reality.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
get out into nature
JackCollier7 
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