Honesty, Openness, and Lies
you create your own life through your thoughts, words, and deeds
at the dawn your lies will haunt you
There is an axiom; ‘everybody lies’, and perhaps it’s true. Perforce we are forced to lie because of the circumstances we find ourselves in, or perhaps lying has become a habit with us, or it might be that there are some things we just do not want to explain because it will be far too complicated. We may be completely honest in the things we say, and yet still be a liar because we lie by omission. We may be having an affair, a fling, or be in trouble, and we just don’t ever talk about it, and that too is lying.
The thing about lying and liars is that they will always get caught out, the axiom; ‘oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive’ is true.. When we lie, however we lie, we are building a house of cards, and we always need to add another couple of cards at the top. One small lie will, more often than not, grow like topsy into a vast work of fiction that calls for a brilliant memory to keep our true story different from the false back-story we have built. And there is always someone with a better memory than you.
A liar’s worst enemy is someone with a good memory. ~ Dodinsky.
The truly honest, honourable, and brave person isn’t afraid to talk about anything and everything.
‘The time has come,’ the walrus said, ‘to talk of many things: Of shoes and ships ~ and sealing wax ~ of cabbages and kings.’ ~ Lewis Carroll
There are things in an English Gentleman’s life that it’s considered impolite to discuss; politics, religion, money….. and women. Yet in recent times I have had deep discussions about the first three of those topics. I wouldn’t ever talk of women in particular, but I am more than happy to discuss women in general ~ as if I knew anything at all of women. When we lie, and when we refuse to talk deeply, honestly, and openly about anything and everything, we diminish ourselves, we reduce the richness of our lives, and we can never consider anyone a true friend.
However sometimes we lie for what seems like a good reason; we lie because we just don’t want to give some people an opportunity to judge and criticise us, we lie because the truth is just too complicated, we lie to avoid hurting someone we otherwise care for, and we lie for the sake of our own safety.
Truth is dangerous….. But if a truth cannot be spoken, it must at least be known. Even if you dare not speak the truth to others, never lie to yourself. ~ Frances Hardinge.
Some say that they never tell a lie. And some should never tell a lie. All I know is that I could be the very best, the most believable of all liars, but I choose not to be.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
the eyes are the windows to the soul
and a lie may deceive from the lips
but the truth is always in the eyes
Honesty and Discretion
it takes strength and courage to admit the whole truth
~
You may be aware that in the last few days I have undergone something of a transformation, and it seems the man I have become has a dedication to truth, honesty, and openness. That is not necessarily a completely good thing. Already I have found that there are innumerable situations where complete honesty wouldn’t be appropriate. If someone is promulgating a web of lies about who and what they really are, it seems to me that it’s better if I ignore all that, keep quiet, and allow them to live their life of sad, dishonest, illusions, and delusions.
Hell, for all of my life I lived as versions of me that were only mostly true. That was not my fault, maternal neglect can have a negative effect on your whole life.
If someone wants to hide what they did in their past, and never mention the reprehensible things they have done to give the impression that they are someone and something that they are not and never have been, then maybe it’s better that I ignore that too. After all, if someone is mostly hiding their past, then it means they don’t want others to know about it, including me.
Some people are just beautifully wrapped and packaged boxes full of fucking shit.
In general, if someone is hiding their past it either means they are ashamed of it, or scared of your reaction if they tell you about it. Hiding or denying your past doesn’t work, because sometime, somewhere, someday, somehow you will come up against someone who knows all about you. And the chances are they will tell your new and innocent friend just exactly who and what you used to be ~ either by accident or on purpose.
There are lots of reasons people hide or deny their past, or even who they really are right now; alcoholism, criminality, unpaid debts, drug taking, promiscuity, prostitution, sexual deviance, marriage, children….. But, all of these things are matters of public record, and you can hide none of the above for very long.
I will throw out one piece of advice, don’t lie to me unless you’re absolutely certain I will never find the truth. And even in the days of my crazy alter-egos of myself, I always found the truth.
Mean and toxic people don’t bother me. Mean and toxic people who disguise themselves as nice and honest people bother me a lot. ~ Cindy Cummings Johnson
Some say that everybody lies. And that if someone is hiding their past, then they must have a damn good reason. All I know is that liars need a very good memory, and most people have very poor memories.
~
Jack Collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
every time you tell another lie you handcuff yourself just a little tighter
Friendship and Truth
a single rose can be my garden ~ a single friend, my world
Many believe that just because they spend a lot of time with someone, then they are friends. Or if they are lovers, then they must also be friends. Or if they just like being with someone, then they must be friends. Perhaps, and perhaps real and true friendship means much more than that.
Generally, two people are drawn together for some very simple and constantly repeating reasons. And the most common of these is that they are co-workers. It’s difficult to spend 8 hours a day with someone without wanting them to be your friend. There are also some good reasons to be friends with your co-workers; like it gives you someone to go to lunch with. On the other hand, I’ve worked very closely with people I hated ~ just couldn’t stand them, and outside of working together saw and spoke to them as little as possible.
Common interests also bring people together, for example liking the same sport, pastime, or hobby. I became friendly with some people I went to a group with, but whether we were real friends is another matter. I also became friends with some guys I played golf with, but outside of a liking golf we had few other things in common, (except we came from the same socio-economic background).
Common interests include some things that will never create true friendships; ‘drinking buddies’, drugs, gambling, casual sex, stealing….. generally things that people do after dark.
Shared values also bring people together, and here the list is long and strange. We can include; truth and honesty, thrift and generosity, the church, religion, human rights, charitable causes, politics, green issues, animal protection, belief in a flat Earth, belief in UFOs, belief in extra-terrestrial civilisations, belief in past lives….. The thing is, if people share the same values they also tend to create groups to support their values and special interests. But, shared values are not enough to create a true friendship, they just bring people together.
Conversely, if two people have very divergent values they can never become true friends.
Of course, one reason people might say they are friends is if they are having sex. Fucking someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re friends ~ probably people who just have sex are not real friends. Some marriages might have good sex in them without the partners being true friends.
As far as I’m concerned, before yesterday I was never a true and honest friend with anyone, ever. I suffer from a serious mental illness called Borderline Personality Disorder, and unless and until you are recovering from that you cannot ever be a real friend to anyone ~ there is just to much boiling shit going on in your mind. Today I know I am recovering from my illness, and today I hope I have 3 friends. Three is a good number.
Some say that honest people never hear the truth. And that very honest people are very impolite. All I know is that real friendship is based on honesty, openness, and trust.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
today there is a garden in my life
Money ~ Trust Nobody
Even Banks and Credit Card Companies are Dishonest
There is a truism ~ everybody lies. These days, even the people you should be able to trust to help you look after your money will lie to you. Just three recent examples in the news;
- Thousands of staff at Wells Fargo Bank routinely created false customer accounts based on real customers’ email addresses. All told about 2 million fake accounts were created. These fake accounts were allegedly used by staff to meet their sales targets ~ and some 5,300 Well Fargo staff have been fired. Would that it were all ~ trust me, there is more nasty news to come on this one concerning customer charges and wrong-doings higher up in the bank.
- The great credit card scandal continues. Credit cards are a rip-off for everyone except the banks. Despite official interest rates being at an historic low, the interest charged on credit card balances continues to rise to usury levels. And, in Britain Mastercard is accused of setting punitive charges on retailers, resulting in an estimated overcharging of £14 billion between 1992 and 2008. Guess who ends up paying for all this ~ you do. Mastercard are being taken to court in a class action.
- Four ex-employees of Barclays Bank are facing long jail terms for manipulating LIBOR. You may think LIBOR, (London Inter Bank Offered Rate), has got nothing to do with you. As a matter of fact the interest costs of everything you have ever borrowed is based on Libor. If you can’t trust the financial markets, then who can you trust?
Not one of the companies and people you trust to manage your money are completely honest with you. When it comes to your money, trust nobody.
Complete honesty is much more than not cheating, stealing, and lying ~ although banks, insurance companies, pension providers, credit card companies, financial advisers, et al, do more than enough outright cheating, stealing, and lying. Complete honesty means not lying by omission, being straightforward, being open, telling you what you need to know, avoiding obfuscation… None of the financial companies and people you deal with abide by that definition of honesty.
If they wanted to be really honest, then they wouldn’t have you sign a legal agreement which included pages and pages of small print.
What should you do;
- Check your bank and credit card statements for unexpected items, especially unexpected charges.
- Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
- If it looks to good to be true it is.
- If you don’t understand something, have it clearly explained until you do understand.
- Never pay for financial advice, never pay an up-front or annual fee for a credit card or bank account.
In high finance there is a concept called ‘counter-party risk’ ~ one of the assumptions in that concept is ‘buyer beware’, never assume that the person or company you are dealing with is telling you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
George Bailey would be horrified.
~
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
hypocrisy, honesty, humility?
~
thinking by dawn’s reflection
I believe these words are true
so I’ll write them just for you
my standards are perfection
yet my beliefs may be flawed
total cure requires correction
dishonesty, truth, or facade?
It needs quite deep reflection
is it rejection or affection?
am I, or am I not, your fool?
you are my Goddess, I am awed
now I know these words are true
and I wrote them just for you
~
words and pictures by jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
JackCollier7 
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