Forgiveness and Love
Christmas is a time for remembering, forgiving, and loving.
Not all of us have only good memories of the past. Some of us have been holding on to feelings of upset, anger, hurt, rejection, jealousy….. perhaps going back years. But our memory of the past is only the joy inside our tears. No memory is either good or bad, it is our feelings created by those memories that may be either positive or negative. I have carried around with me the weight of the world in negative feelings about the past ~ and it’s time to let them go. It’s time to forgive, and replace those negative feelings with genuine love. It’s time to embrace the beautiful new dawn Christmas brings.
Forgiveness does not mean the other person was right, or that we have to forget what they have done, but forgiving lets us live a more positive and fuller life. And, mostly if we have been carrying around a deep hurt it means that whomsoever damaged us was someone we cared for very deeply. Only those we love can really hurt us.
By forgiving we allow ourselves to move on. We release ourselves from a self-imposed paranoid prison of upset, anger, hurt, rejection, jealousy….. and those negative feelings slowly poison us, taking away our ability to love anyone, including ourselves. It was important for me to understand that I needed to forgive others for the sake of my own mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
True forgiveness isn’t easy, it isn’t weak, or proof that we weren’t really hurt, or that it was us who were in the wrong. True forgiveness and returning to love is a sign of emotional maturity and strength ~ the strength to move on with your life.
True forgiveness goes hand in hand with learning to trust again, to love again, to leave behind the mistrust and paranoia. To create a successful life I needed to truly and honestly forgive others who have hurt me.
How we forgive is something else. It may be that the person we need to forgive is dead, in which case the forgiveness is in our own minds ~ or if you pray it may be that you say a prayer for whoever hurt you so deeply. If they’re still around you may decide to reach out to that person; maybe call them, or send an email, or more personally write a proper letter. But, be aware of two things; #1 your forgiveness must be true and genuine, not filled with if’s and but’s….. #2 don’t reach out to whoever hurt you if by doing so you hurt them or make their life difficult, it might not be a good idea to reach out to your ex if they are in a new relationship.
However, if you can, and you truly and genuinely forgive, then find a way to say to whoever hurt you that you love them, (maybe not in those words). Don’t say you forgive them, that’s judgemental and implies that they were wrong. They may well have been very wrong, but true forgiveness means that we don’t have to rub their noses in it. If whoever hurt you asks for your forgiveness, then give it, honestly, openly, and truthfully.
Some say that being hurt is what you get for loving someone. And that you can’t trust anyone, not ever. All I know is that forgiveness is cathartic and lets us love again.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
allow your heart to mend
forgive and love again
Forgiveness
To truly forgive is to set a prisoner free, and discover that the prisoner was you.
Looking back, I never learned what it means to truly forgive someone. Worse than that, my morbid fear of abandonment makes it extremely difficult for me to forgive anyone I believe has / will / may betray me.
Refusing to forgive has never made me feel better about anything. All I was doing was holding on to negative feelings of upset, anger, jealousy, resentment, and a desire to somehow get even. And all that has ever done for me has been to drive me deeper into the Abyss.
Resentment and holding on to anger is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. ~ Malachy McCourt
The worst of it is that I can become angry, resentful, jealous, paranoid, and believe that someone has betrayed me ~ when it’s really all in my own mind. I can feel abandoned and betrayed by things that a friend did in the past, maybe years before we even knew one another. The reason I am hurt may be just crazy, but the hurt is real, and the forgiveness I need to feel should be real as well.
To create even a moderately successful life I should forgive others who have hurt or offended me, even if the offence, betrayal, or hurt is really all in my own mind. I need to learn forgiveness, not because I believe someone close to me was right, or because I can forget what they have done, but because forgiving will free me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. By forgiving I can allow myself to move on with my life ~ I can get my feet back on the warrior’s path.
Forgiving others will allow me to finally learn to trust. Honest and real forgiveness will be a part of me learning to build relationships with others, instead of always having unstable and dysfunctional relationships which usually end with one of us just walking away.
Forgiveness will release me from my self-built dungeon of extremely dark and negative feelings.
Some things I will never forgive. I will not forgive the low-life vermin who burgled my place a short while ago. Come the Revolution they will be the first up against the wall and shot.
Some say that forgiving others is weak and stupid. And that to forgive means that you weren’t actually hurt, upset, or angry in the first place. All I know is that I must forgive others for the sake of my own well-being.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
with forgiveness, it can be a Wonderful Life
Resentments Ruin Relationships
Chaos: an infinite abyss of utter confusion and disorder.
Resentment: deep, bitter, painful and persistent anger and hurt at someone or something as a result of a being ill-used and treated unfairly.
Resentment is like drinking deadly poison and waiting for the other person to die. ~ Carrie Fisher
My life is mired in chaos. Due to the unaccustomed lack of alcohol in my bloodstream my brain is beginning to function at something like full capacity. This is not universally good news. I realise that I have a few deep and abiding ill feelings of dissatisfaction and rancour ~ resentments if you like. I need to purge these from my soul, or my soul must surely die.
A life lived mired in resentment is one that is lived primarily in the past, and this is never one that is filled with joy. ~ Taite Adams.
I cannot change the past, it is futile for me to dwell upon slights which happened as recently as yesterday. Somehow, sometime, I should think about forgiveness.
The feeling of resentment and inferiority is natural and nothing much can be done about it. What can be done is to think, where these feelings will lead you? If you want to be a winner in life, if you want to reach the top, then make sure that these feelings of resentment and inferiority lead you to nothing else but aspiration! ~ Abhishek Ratna
Resentments are addictive, I am busy breaking one addiction, and I swear that I will also break my capitulation to old dramas and new hurts, or else my life will slowly unravel like an unwanted ball of twine.
~
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
JackCollier7 
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