Tag Archives: Comfort Zone

Outside Of My Comfort Zone

success is born out of discomfort, uncertainty, and risk

When I look back at the times when I have succeeded in life, and believe it or not there have been a few, one thing strikes me as germane ~ I wasn’t sitting in a comfy chair pondering the sharp changes in the price of booze since 1970.  Whenever I achieved something important and worthwhile I was uncomfortable, I wasn’t living in the humdrum of my everyday existence, I was operating well outside of my comfort zone.

When we take risks we feel nervous and uncertain, afraid and uncomfortable.  If it’s taking risks with our career, leaving a shitty and dysfunctional relationship, going all-in on a game of cards, or trying to run our first half-marathon, our biggest wins are always born out of discomfort, uncertainty, and risks.

Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, and difficulty.  ~  Theodore Roosevelt

Usually the more uncomfortable I felt, the greater the risks I took, the harder something was to do, when it was almost impossible, then the bigger the success I achieved, the more self-confident I became, and the greater sense of achievement I felt at the end.

And that’s why true success is so rare, why so few people accomplish anything important, and why so few people ever do anything different ~ most people don’t like effort, pain, and difficulty.  Most people don’t even like hard work.

Anytime you try to do something important you will be swimming against the tide.  The people around you; family, friends, co-workers, your partner, will all tell you that what you want to do is stupid, impossible, and wrong.  The more challenging, unique, and off the wall your project is, the stronger the criticism and negative judgementalism will be.  All the people who think they know you will not like you doing something different.  You are not only challenging yourself, you are also challenging their cosy little worlds too.

Ignore the critics, the Job’s comforters, the gainsayers, and the judgemental; you get on and do what you want to do to achieve your dreams, have your hearts desires, or just escape the shit life you are living right now.

There will be setbacks, things will go wrong, you will think you have bitten off more than you can chew, you will wonder WTF made to think you could dream the impossible dream, and then make it happen.  Ignore all that and just keep on keeping on.  It might be hell, but keep on going.

Learn how to be determined, learn how to adapt your plans and schemes to meet changing circumstances, learn how to ignore the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, learn how to be fucking relentless.

Some say that it’s better to stay safe than to take any risks at all.  And that it’s all just too difficult, and I want to watch my soaps instead.  All I know is that faint heart never won fair lady ~ and you can trust me on that one.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

there was a time when Churchill stood alone against the might of Nazi Germany

habits, routines, and rituals

you never change your life until you step outside of your comfort zone

We all of us have safe routines and habits that almost never change.  Most small teddy bears are afraid of the sea.  Most people are a little afraid of the new, the strange, and the different.

Every day we go to work, we dress in the same clothes in the same style, we eat the same food.  Our circle of friends pretty much never changes.  We visit our parents at the weekend, and we spend the rest of each weekend doing almost the same things we did last weekend.  We have our favourite seat at the bar in our usual pub, and our favourite type of booze to drink at home.

That picture is intensified if we have a partner, because not only do we live within our own comfort zone, we also feel that we have to live within theirs.  Actually, some people do have to live well within their partner’s comfort zone, because to do otherwise would invite dire consequences.

Mostly we do not invite new and different experiences into our lives.  Often we judge others harshly for sometimes doing things differently, and for stepping outside what we think is their role in our lives.  Often we resent that people we know, our family and friends, for seeking to expand their own horizons, find new opportunities, seek out new experiences, and try to find new friends and lovers.

It’s sort of OK for you to resent it if people you know are trying to find something new in their lives ~ something that doesn’t necessarily involve you.  All of us suffer from a fear of abandonment to one extent or another, and resenting someone close to you if they try to find new horizons is merely an unconscious expression of that fear of abandonment.  But get over it.  Just because your friend is looking for new friends doesn’t mean they are going to leave you behind ~ unless you’ve really pissed them off.  Who knows?  Your friend’s new friends may become your friends too.

You know what?  It’s all about you.  Welcome new experiences, visit new places, make new friends, try dressing differently, do something crazy once in a while.

Some say that it’s better to build walls around themselves than to risk getting hurt again.  And, that the tried and trusted is safer than looking for something different.  All I know is that this month I will do at least one new, different, and crazy thing.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

for me,

getting in the sea with her would be truly outside of my comfort zone.

Nothing Lasts Forever

Great things never came from comfort zones.

Just another day and I’m back in the garret where my psyche tells me I belong.  Not anymore I don’t.  I need to change and the picture of York Railway Station is a metaphor.  To get to anywhere by train I have to change at York ~ in rail journey terms York is the fulcrum.

Some of you may recall that I have been trying to change for years; to grow, to become the better man, to walk the warrior’s path…..  and I’ve had some limited success.  No that’s wrong, I’ve had a lot of success.  I’ve gone from being a celibate recluse, stuck in the garret and afraid to go out, to a chap who has just completed a course of swimming lessons ready for my solo vacation in Crete in a couple of weeks time.

It seems that my fulcrum has been shown me by those self-same swimming lessons ~ the whole thing was utterly outside my comfort zone, and I mean a long, long way outside my comfort zone.  And you know what?  Our comfort zones are not a place of safety, they are a prison.

Have the courage to leave our self-imposed prison and great things start to happen.

What I know now, (what I always really knew), is that I have to accept life as it comes, live in the moment, enjoy whatever the moment brings, open my eyes, and welcome surprise.  Stop cowering in the corner, and stop living a life where today will be pretty much like yesterday, and tomorrow will be pretty much like today.  Life goes on, but from now on my life will be filled with adventure and good things.

IF I continue on a wiser, kinder, more mindful, more courageous, more self-loving path, I know that I will be able to embrace the results of all the hard work I’ve put in over the past few years, and discover the truth of my Life.  I know that things WILL improve, even from this good place I am in right now.  And, not in years, or even many months, but in the coming days and weeks.  Things will get even better for me far sooner than my comfort-zone loving heart might expect.

But I have to stay focused and believe in myself, because sitting back in my comfort zone and waiting for the Cosmos to roll out the red carpet just doesn’t work.  Trust me, I know.

We have free will.  We need to use it and leave our self-imposed prisons.  We are the Masters of our Own Fate, we need to accept that, get out of our comfort zone, and live life, even if that means making mistakes.

Some say that all the changes we try to make for ourselves are bad.  And, that we should do as we are told, do what’s expected of us, never question authority, always respect the wishes of our family, and stay in our comfort zone.  All I know is that leaving my comfort zone far behind me is the fulcrum of my Life.

~

jack collier

jackcollier7@talktalk.net

 

this is a long way outside of my comfort zone, but the next time I go to Turkey I will be up there