A Different Life
it is always darkest just before the dawn breaks
I need a new life, a different life from the emotionally painful existence I have been enduring.
I don’t exactly know what kind of life I need to live, except that I need to stay sober and avoid all conflict in my interpersonal relationships. Maybe the one will lead to the other. I hope so.
There is nothing I ask for, other than to be free from this emotional pain and suffering. There is nothing I can think of to do, no plan of action other than to stay sober, avoid all conflict, and maybe just be nice, kind, and compassionate. To be honest, that’s about all I’m going to be able to cope with for a while.
Love to you all. Wish me luck in my different life.
~
Jack Collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
Maybe having a true friend would be good for me.
Fade Out ~ Fade In
I wish I’d been born with no feelings at all.
wine was the least of what I was drinking
Last year I discovered some unpleasant things about myself, and the way my interpersonal relationships worked ~ or rather didn’t work. All my relationships were dysfunctional, painful, and ruinous. Mostly this was my fault because I could have just walked away from anyone at any time.
I didn’t, instead I let myself go downhill into depression, paranoia, and booze.
Over the last year, and over the Christmas Holidays I faded out.
Well, it’s time I faded back in again.
I don’t know what kind of life I’m going to have, and I’m afraid to find out.
I’ll keep you posted.
~
Jack Collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
I need to work on fading back in
Inebriated Woman
there’s a reason some women do that sometimes
I really didn’t think
she was always drinking
just usually very drunk
and high on skunk
and I shrank back
from ever thinking
about who she fucked
when she’d been drinking
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
strong drink gets weak women into trouble
Beer is Bad for You
Lots of beer, now there’s a temporary solution.
English Pubs Exist to Sell Beer
Despite what some would like to believe, beer is just as bad for you as any other alcohol, and depending how much of the brown falling-down-water you drink, beer is possibly worse that your other regular tipples. All booze has some very deleterious effects on your health, and the more your regularly drink the faster these bad things will happen to you.
Alcohol causes accidents in the home, on the road, and everywhere else you might find yourself after one too many drinks. Most people who commit suicide have been drinking heavily. Booze is also the direct cause of heart failure and other cardiovascular diseases, liver failure, fatty liver, hepatitis, and cirrhosis, sundry gastrointestinal disorders, pneumonia and other respiratory tract diseases, various cancers, pancreatitis, and diseases of malnutrition such as Wernicke’s encephalopathy, Korsakoff’s psychosis, amblyopia, and polyneuropathy. Without treatment you could die from all of these alcohol related dangers. Even with treatment some of the above will still kill you. If you don’t stop drinking, then you will die, horribly and before your time, from one or more of the nasty alcohol related killer diseases.
But, isn’t drinking beer safer? Isn’t it OK to have a few beers, every now and again.
Mostly, the answer to those questions is no. In a healthy adult, moderate drinking doesn’t cause too much damage, and by moderate I mean 1 pint of beer a day, or one standard size glass of wine a day ~ any more than that is quite damaging to your health. And you can’t save up your weekly quota and safely drink it all at the weekend either. Nor can you stay sober for a month and then get good and drunk to make up for all that boring sobriety ~ try that and you’ll most likely end up in vomiting your guts up, or in hospital, or dead.
So what about only ever drinking beer? Beer is made from water, a grain such as wheat or barley, and is usually flavoured with hops. Beer is usually between 4% and 12% alcohol by volume, (ABV). Your liver will take 1 hour to process a bottle of a weaker beer, and maybe 3 hours to process a pint of strong beer. While your liver is processing alcohol it isn’t doing anything else.
In comparison, wine usually has an ABV of 10% to 18%. Drinking an average size glass of wine is the equivalent of drinking a pint of strong beer. The ABV of spirits varies from between 35% to 60%, (sometimes more). A standard measure of spirits, (one shot), is about equivalent to drinking a bottle of strong beer.
The reasons beer is so bad for you is that there’s a lot of it by sheer quantity, which puts strain on your kidneys dealing with all that urine. Beer is full of grains which are packed with gluten and generally very bad for your digestion, there’s lots of calories in beer, and it’s got hops in it which is a soporific and also promotes the creation of estrogen in the body. Why do you think most beer drinkers are fat, have overhanging bellies, and guys who drink a lot of beer get man-boobs? Beer will kill you just as fast as any other alcohol, and it will make you very unattractive in the process.
Some say that beer is good for you. And that real men always have a few beers when they meet with the guys, or have a BBQ, or watch sports TV….. All I know is that people who drink beer become fat and unattractive, and then they die, before their time.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
if the bottom falls out of your world,
drink Guinness and have the world fall out of your bottom.
Questions and Answers
If you don’t want the answer, then don’t ask the question.
you will never find the answer at the bottom of a glass
There are always more questions than answers, and each new answer raises more, and more difficult questions. Sometimes we don’t want to hear the answer that we get. Sometimes we shouldn’t have asked the question in the first place. And, sometimes the answer we get isn’t the truth.
Life is as simple as these three questions: What do I want? Why do I want it? And, how will I achieve it. ~ Shannon L. Adler
All of those simple questions are very difficult to answer, because either we don’t really know what we want, or if we actually get what we think we wanted, then we realise that we didn’t truly want it at all. More often than not this is the great truth of Love.
The two great questions of love are in the simple phrase; ‘She loves me ~ She loves me not…..’ As if plucking petals from a daisy could possibly answer the question of if she loves you or not. One may as well resolve one’s doubts by tossing a coin and saying; ‘heads I dump her, tails I stay with her.’ Actually, tossing a coin and asking that question does work ~ because while the coin is in the air we will decide which way we truly want the coin to fall.
Being something of a mechanic when it comes to games of chance, that tossing of a coin to get an answer doesn’t truly work for me. I can make a coin fall whichever way I like. I cheat, which isn’t truly getting an answer. My doubts about interpersonal relationships, sex, desire, and love can never be resolved by random chance.
All people have doubts, mostly everyone has the same doubts, and more often than not these doubts are troubling. Often these doubts are created in our own minds because we make assumptions based on incomplete evidence, and we take these assumptions very personally. If we stubbornly wish to be unhappy we look for evidence to prove our worst assumptions, and if we can’t find the evidence and answers to back up our assumptions, then we just create negative answers in our own mind.
My own personal doubts are created because I have an almost perfect memory, so anything anyone says to me stays in my mind, and I can build cloud castles of negative answers based on a single phrase said in passing.
Some say that if we don’t want to know the answer then we shouldn’t ask the question. And that every answer creates more, and more difficult questions. All I know is that we only ask questions when we think we already know the answers.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
booze is never the answer
but it will make you forget the question
Become a Renaissance Being
The heart and soul of a Renaissance Man is creativity.
Creativity, curiosity, honesty, openness, kindness, understanding ~ these things and honour are what separates a truly superior Renaissance Man from the common herd. There are a couple of other important attributes a superior man should possess in abundance; confidence and self-control ~ a Renaissance Man does not want, desire, nor need instant gratification to bolster his self-confidence. The confidence of a Renaissance Man is assured and will brook no criticisms.
part-finished teardrop trailer kit
A superior man is creative and innovative, and creativity means to actually create something, if there is no physical end-product then all you are doing is daydreaming. Almost everyone can daydream and come up with an idea or two, but few will go on to get those ideas down on paper, make a plan, and go on to create / build / make whatever it is the plan calls for, be it writing a book, creating a work of art, a boat, car, a tiny trailer, a kitchen, bathroom, or even a whole home. Almost everyone goes no further than having an idea, they never follow through and do something tangible. They are held back by a lack of confidence in themselves, laziness, fear, and the pressures of coping with a partner, family, friends, and coworkers. These are excuses, not reasons.
Other reasons for not actually doing something real, for going no further than daydreaming, are; lack of money, time pressures, lack of space, not knowing how to do whatever it is they think they want to do….. All of these are also just fucking pathetic excuses. And then there are some other reasons people don’t do creative stuff; they drink too much, smoke too much, smoke pot, do street drugs, take too many unnecessary prescription and over-the-counter medications, gamble, spend too much time looking for cheap sex in bars……
Perhaps to be truly creative you first have to put your life in order. It’s a fallacy that booze and drugs will help your creativity ~ all those things will do is help you daydream, right up to the point where you pass out.
Creative living and creativity is available to all of us But how do we energise our creative abilities?
- Do something, even if it’s just baby steps. Make a start on your project, even if it’s just writing down your ideas. Get out of your comfort zone. Pick up whatever tools you need to work on your project, from a hammer, to a brush, to a tablet.
- Mindfullness. Be aware of ourselves, be aware of our environment, be in the moment.
- Fresh air, exercise, sunshine, movement in nature. Get off your ass and take some physical activity to energise your body. Most office workers do not move nearly enough during the day, and then they go home, sit on the sofa, and drink some booze in front of the TV.
- Stop taking yourself too seriously. Reawaken the inner child. Be prepared to make mistakes. Be playful.
Some say that serious people don’t have time to waste on being creative. And, that being mindful is just a ‘new-age’ gimmick. All I know is that a really cool Renaissance Man creates his own reality.
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
get out into nature
Healthier Food and Drink
The more you eat, the less flavour. The less you eat, the more flavour.
There are literally thousands of diets out there, from the 5:2 diet, the Mediterranean diet, the Paleo diet, the Sushi diet, and even the simple calorie controlled diet. These diets can get quite complicated and the professional aficionados would love us to buy their books explaining the benefits of these diets and giving us lots of recipes that we’re probably never going to cook. As it happens I try to follow the tenants of a Mediterranean diet, simply because I like Mediterranean food. Conversely I would never follow a Sushi diet because I hate sushi and I firmly believe that raw fish is inherently unhealthy, to the point of being dangerous.
There is one basic truth about losing weight ~ eat less. The average female office worker only needs about 2,000 calories a day, and the average male about 2,500. A weight loss diet probably means a woman eating 1,500 calories a day, and a man about 2,000. There are a myriad of calorie calculators on the internet.
However, after some study of diets, nutrition, and health, I can give you some basic guidelines about what you should include and avoid in all those calories.
- Drink 3 pints of fresh clean water every day.
- Eating a little every couple of hours avoids and cures adrenal fatigue.
- Wild foods are good ~ especially healthy grains such as wild rice. Eat organic food whenever you can.
- Try not to eat processed and canned foods.
- Eating fresh fruits and vegetables is vital to our health. Apples, Banana, Broccoli, Cauliflower, Carrots, Celery, Grapes, Leeks, Pears, Potato (especially potato skins), Spinach, & etc.. Avoid too much citrus fruit, it messes with the acid balance of our gut.
- Adding herbs and spices adds important phytochemicals to our food. Fresh parsley, basil, and rosemary are especially good.
- Eat grass-fed beef, free-range chicken, lamb, wild salmon, net caught ocean fish, shrimp, crab, and lobster. Avoid too much pork, (and if you eat pork make damn certain it’s properly cooked). Avoid farmed fish, (especially tilapia which is cheap whitefish), cheap chicken, bacon, and turkey. Eat shellfish at your peril.
- Don’t drink a lot of fresh milk, don’t put cream or half-and-half in your coffee, and don’t eat a lot of yogurt or cheese.
- Take vitamin and mineral supplements; B4, B12, Folate, Vitamin C, Vitamin E, Zinc, (and if you are a menstruating woman take Iron supplements).
- Do not ever eat anything made with modern wheat; bread, cake, cookies, pasta, tortillas…..
- Avoid too much; complex carbohydrates, caffeine, sugar, and salt.
- Don’t drink too much coffee or ordinary tea, try green tea instead.
- Don’t drink diet sodas, or use artificial sweeteners. In fact really cut down on drinking any soda at all.
- Really, really avoid too much alcohol. One bottle of red wine a week is a good limit, (or if you can’t live with that, two bottles a week). Do not regularly get buzzed, and regularly would be once a month.
You may think that’s all too damn difficult, and probably expensive. Well, it takes effort to follow any guidelines, and good organic food carries a price premium, but really, how much is a healthier and longer life worth to you?
~
jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
cauliflower is a surprisingly versatile vegetable
Scenes on Sunday ~ York
Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this son of York;
These days ancient English City of York is full of bicycles, churches, tourists, and pubs ~ mostly pubs. And mostly not a lot of Shakespeare.
~
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jack collier
jackcollier7@talktalknet
unless you are a very attractive American woman, don’t ask to taste a load of different beers before you buy a pint.
Driving Dangerously
~
Booze, Prescription Drugs, Street Drugs, Excessive Speed, Failing to Stop, Using A Cell Phone, Reading, Unroadworthy Vehicle, No Insurance, No Licence….
I firmly believe that almost all drivers have driven while they shouldn’t, or in cars that they shouldn’t be driving, or without the proper documentation, or done something they shouldn’t be doing while they were driving. (oral sex, or searching for a pack of cigarettes in your purse, for example )
The most common really stupid thing drivers do is use their cell / mobile to talk / text / surf the internet / watch sports while they are driving. And, don’t try to tell me you’ve never done that, because I won’t believe you.
Texting while driving increases the risk of accident 23.2 times over unimpaired driving. ~ Virginia Tech Transportation Institute
But, and without a shadow of a doubt, the worst road crime is driving while intoxicated. A hell of a lot of other illegal stuff can be put down to people drinking and driving ~ excessive speed for example. And, driving under the influence of booze is not just dumb, it’s amoral, criminal, and dangerous.
I really don’t believe anyone who says they have never driven while intoxicated, or under the influence of prescription / illegal drugs. Everyone who drives and who also sometimes drinks booze, or sometimes takes some form of mind-altering drugs, (including prescription painkillers), has driven when they shouldn’t.
There’s no question that we need tougher drunk-driving laws. We need to take a lesson from European countries where driving isn’t a right but a privilege. ~ Jesse Ventura.
Back in the day I knew an alcoholic who had been a very senior police officer in charge of road traffic accidents. He shared that almost all really bad accidents involved a drunk driver. He also shared that it wasn’t seeing so many deaths, or even the dead and horribly maimed children, that had pushed him over the edge into depression and booze. What really destroyed him was the decapitations, bodies without heads and heads without bodies.
If you are involved in a road traffic accident and you suspect / know the other driver has been breaking the law ~ texting while he rear-ended your car for example ~ then call the police, and take a shed-load of pictures. You may get lucky, and the police might shoot arrest the miscreant,
If you are the guilty driver, then don’t expect any sympathy whatsoever, from anyone except another dumb criminal
Think about this ~ do you want to be the one to run down a child, destroying her life and the lives of her family in the process?
~
jackcollier7@talktalk.net
JackCollier7 
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